MY HOME DP
by Just-Soldier-On
Summary: Hey this is just my old home page, I couldn't find it in my heart to delete it. So it's got some of those H.P Things. Hope you like. Over 20 thousand things in this. Hope you like it. Please review and tell me what you think.


~Edward Cullen-

Because he'll

reject your ass

in a very

courteous and

gentlemanly fashion~

Opening Credits: Walking on sunshine

Waking Up: Waking up in Vegas

First Day At School: Walk away

Falling in Love: Caught up in you

Fight Song: Everytime we touch (Slow)

Breaking Up: When it was me

Prom night: Forever

Life: Day n night

First fight: The wild one

Mental Breakdown: Another Day - Paramore

Driving: Lips of an Angel - Hinder

Flashback: Shine - Hilary Duff

Getting back together: Last Christmas - Taylor Swift

Wedding: Hallelujah - Paramore

Birth of Child: Ride Wit Me - Nelly

Final Battle: My Number One - Paramore

Funeral Song: Cold As You - Taylor Swift

Final Credits: Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson

Hello guys thanks for visiting my page XXOOXX

Twilight

I promise to remember Bella,

Whenever i carelessly fall down.

And i promise to remember Edward

Whenever I am out of town.

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlie's sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heat fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

When ever I am in the Emergency Room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Every time there's a huge boom

I promise to remember Rosalie

When I see something with pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at the mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Renesmee

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

Very sad story...

A guy and girl were speeding over 100 mph on a road

Girl:"Slow down. Im scared."

Guy:"No, this is fun."

Girl:"No, its not. Please, its too scary."

Guy:"Then tell me you love me."

Girl:"Fine, I love you. Slow down!"

Guy:"Now give me a BIG hug."

*Girl hugs him*

Guy: "Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? Its bugging me."

Paper the next day: motorcycle crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people riding. Only one survived.

The truth: Halfway down the road, the guy realized the brakes went out, and he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug him one last time, then had her put on his helmet. So that she would live, even though it meant that he wouldn't.

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could do to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling. They found out that the new baby was going to be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael would sing to his sister in Mommy's tummy.

The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen. Then the labor pains came. Every five minutes . . . every minute.

But complications arose during delivery. Hours of labor. A C-Section was required. Finally, Michael's little sister was born, but she was in serious condition. With sirens howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital in Knoxville, Tennessee.

The days inched by. The little girl got worse. The pediatric specialist tells the parents, "There is little hope. Be prepared for the worst." Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot. The had fixed up a special room in their home for the new baby — now they plan a funeral. Michael, kept begging his parent to let him see his sister, "I want to sing to her," he says.

Week two in intensive care. It looked as if a funeral would come before the week was over. Michael keeps nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in Intensive Care.

Karen made up her mind. She would take Michael whether they liked it or not. If he didn't see his sister now, he would never see her alive.

She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit and marched him into ICU. He looked like a walking laundry basket, but the head nurse recognized him as a child and bellowed, "Get that kid out of here now! No children are allowed in ICU."

The mother rises up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glares steel-eyed into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line. "He is not leaving until he sings to his sister!"

Karen tows Michael to his sister's bedside. He gazes at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. And he begins to sing. In the pure-hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael

sings:

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray —"

Instantly the baby girl responded. The pulse rate became calm and steady.

"You never know, dear, how much I love you, Please don't take my sunshine away —"

The ragged strained breathing became as smooth as a kitten's purr.

"The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms . . ."

Michael's little sister relaxes as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her. Tears conquered the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glowed.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don't take my sunshine away."

Funeral plans were scrapped. The next day, the very next day, the little girl was well enough to go home! Woman's Day magazine called it "the miracle of a brother's song." The medical staff just called it a miracle.

THIS IS A TRUE STORY!. 8)

BEST FRIENDS

THAT IS TRUE BFF'S ARE REAL FRIENDS BUT...FRIENDS ARE...

FAKE FRIENDS!

HERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT FAKE OR REAL FRIENDS!

!Fake friends ask for food ,

reall friends are the reason you got no food.

FAKE FRiENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.

REAl FRiENDS: Call your parents Dad/Mom

FAKE FRiENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAl FRiENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "DAMN . dat was soo fun1 lets do dat again!

FAKE FRiENDS: never seen you cry.

REAl FRiENDS: cry with you

FAKE FRiENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAl FRiENDS: keep your stuff 4 so long they forget it's yours.

FAKE FRiENDS: know a few things about you.

REAl FRiENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRiENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAl FRiENDS: Will kick the whole that left you.

FAKE FRiENDS: Would knock on your front door.

REAl FRiENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

FAKE FRiENDS: Are for a while.

REAl FRiENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRiENDS: Will hold an umbrella for you in the rain.

REAl FRiENDS: will take the umbrella and say "Run run run!"

FAKE FRiENDS: will talk rubbish the person who talks rubbish about you.

REAl FRiENDS: Will knock them out

FAKE FRIENDS: WILL IGNORE THIS

REAL FRIENDS: WILL REPOST THIS

Girls

are like apples

on trees. The best ones

are at the top of the tree.

The boys don't want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren't as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they're amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who's

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree

Girl: Do you think i'm pretty?

Boy: No.

Girl: Do i ever cross your mind?

Boy: No.

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Would you cry if i left?

Boy: No.

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Choose...Me or ur life.

Boy: My life.

The Girl runs away in shock, pain, and tears. The Boy runs after her and grabs her arm.

Boy: I don't think you're pretty because i think you're beautiful. You don't cross my mind cause your always on my mind. I don't like you because i love you. I don't want you i need you. I wouldn't cry if you left i would die. I wouldn't live for you i would die for you. I would choose my life because you ARE my life!

There once was a girl who sat next to a boy called Mike

Each lesson they had together they would say "Hi" they were best freinds

But what Mike didn't know was that She was truly in love with him.

He had feeling for her to but he didn't want to say anything

because he didn't want to ruin there freindship.

One day she gained up some courage to tell him.

But then she chickend out after hearing what one of her best 'girl' freind

had to say.

She told her "What if he says no, then your freindship will be at risk" the girl didn't want that.

But what the girl didn't know was that her bestfreind was also in love with Mike and she didn't want her to ask him out.

Her bestfreind found out that Mike liked the girl.

She was jealous she tried to ruin the freindship many times but each time failed and only made them strong.

The girl had enough of the lying and told mike.

Girl- Mike?- she said he was in the footy feild playing with his mates.

Boy-"Yeah?"- he's buddys were watching it made her worry.

girl-"Can i talk to you privetly?"

boy-"Yeah sure" he said we walked out on to the middle of the grassed area

"So whats up?" he asked.

Girl-"I've gone through this over my head a million times and only one thing keeps telling me to say how i feel"

She started.

She was jealous she tried to ruin the freindship many times but each time failed and only made them strong.

The girl had enough of the lying and told mike.

Girl- Mike?- she said he was in the footy feild playing with his mates.

Boy-"Yeah?"- he's buddys were watching it made her worry.

girl-"Can i talk to you privetly?"

boy-"Yeah sure" he said we walked out on to the middle of the grassed area

"So whats up?" he asked.

Girl-"I've gone through this over my head a million times and only one thing keeps telling me to say how i feel"

She started.

The boy worried. he wonderd if some one told her the truth maybe on of his best mates told her that he liked her, thats te only person who knew.

"Ben, i love you"

He was surprised he didn't think thats whats she was going to say.

He leaned in to kiss her and they both stood there kissing.

Every one watching

~There is a meaning to every story~

{so try to figure this one out}

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

She was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

You're never alone...

Try Not To Cry:

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,

Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as

"Try Not To Cry"

2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how

cold-hearted you really are...

A Dads Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow.

Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home.

Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all. About a dad she never sees a dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats. one by one the teacher called a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare. each of them was searching, for a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out.

"She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, she smiled up at her Mom and looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak. And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away. But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so. He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him. I'm not standing here alone. "Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart"

With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress. And from somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears. Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years. For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life. Doing what was best for her, doing what was right. And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far. You see he was a fireman and died just this past year when airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away."

And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day. And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise. A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside. Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out.

And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt. Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed. But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shining star. And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far.

'They' say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Send this to the people you'll never forget and remember to send it also to the person that sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends.

A white man said, Colored people are not allowed here

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:

Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK

When I grew up I was BLACK

When I'm sick I'm BLACK

When I go in the sun I'm BLACK

When I'm cold I'm BLACK

When I die I'll be BLACK

But you sir

When you are born you're PINK

When you grow up you're WHITE

When you're sick, you're GREEN

When you go in the sun you're RED

When you're cold you're BLUE

And when you die you're PURPLE

And you have the nerve to call me colored?

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away . . .

Put this on your page if you HATE racism!

~3 MEN JOKE!~

there are 3 men who need to get across a lake...

the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across...

he gets big muscles and swims across...

but almost dies 5 times...

the 2nd 1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across...

he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across...

but he almost dies 3 times...

the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains...

he turns into a woman...

walks 4 yards...

and crosses the bridge

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

yea I'm one of those crazy overly obsessive teenage girls.

forget a prince with a horse, i want a vampire with a Volvo.

bob tried to take my twilight books. bob isn't with us anymore... hehe

I am a twilightaholic. (look it up)

Regular lions say ROAARR.

Angry lions say BLARGAROARIMMAEATYOU

Sad lions say roooaaar.

Mountain lions say: OMGEDWARDCULLENRUN!

Boys are like slinkeys... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs (except Edward Cullen of course!)

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN THEN COPY AND PASTE INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM!

am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.

I am the girl that people look through when I say something.

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.

I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.

I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace or Facebook, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.

I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.

I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is way too long, copy and paste this into it to make it even longer!

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

No boy is worth crying for, and the one that is won't make you cry. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile

If you say Fudge instead of f*ck.

If you cry when your favourite fictional character get's hurt.

If you have read more than 4 books'.

If you cry in romantic/sad movies.

LADIES don't start fights, we FINISH them.

A good girl is a bad girl who's never gotten caught.

"Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days."

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.

Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.

Do not walk beside me, either.

Just leave me the heck alone.

Man: "Haven't we met before?"

Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"

Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"

Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"

Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"

Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."

Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"

Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"

Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"

Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

Woman: "Unfertilized"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"

Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."

Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."

Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."

Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."

Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy

Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"

Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man: "Your body is like a temple."

Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."

Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."

Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together

Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

DORMITORY:

When you rearrange the letters:

DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:

When you rearrange the letters:

BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:

When you rearrange the letters:

MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:

A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:

When you rearrange the letters:

THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:

When you rearrange the letters:

HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :

When you rearrange the letters:

HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:

When you rearrange the letters:

CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:

When you rearrange the letters:

IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:

When you rearrange the letters:

LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:

When you rearrange the letters:

ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:

When you rearrange the letters:

IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:

When you rearrange the letters:

THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:

When you rearrange the letters:

TWELVE PLUS ONE

she said that she wanted to get high- he took her to the tallest hill in town.

she said that she wanted to stay up all night & drink- he gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated Pepsi & said 'drink up'

she said that she wanted to shoot herself- he gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger & aimed it at her face.

she said that she wanted to cut herself up- he took a Polaroid of her, handed it to her along w. scissors & had her cut it up.

she said that she wanted to see her blood- he took her to get her ears pierced.

she said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep- he had her watch a sad romantic movie before bed.

she said that she wanted to be alone- he gave her a name tag that sad "my name is: ALONE."

she said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always; he asked when he wasn't.

I'm the kind of girl who would rather love a guy from a book than in real life. (Jasper Hale, Emmett Cullen, Jacob Black, Edward Cullen, Seth Clearwater, Jared ?, Romeo)

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

(\)_(/)

(='.'=) This is Bunny.

(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination! Mwu ha ha ha ha!

║██║ Music is my life. Put this if u listen

║(o)║to REAL music.

╔══╦══╦══╗ I have been diagnosed

║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen

║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your

╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you have it too

"Come to the dark side, we have edward cullen!"

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Bella Cullen: Luckier That You since 1987

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

bob tried to take my twilight books. bob isnt with us anymore.

i am a twilightaholic.

Regular lions say ROAARR.

Angry lions say BLARGAROARIMMAEATYOU

Sad lions say roooaaar.

Mountain lions say: OMGEDWARDCULLENRUN!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, post this.

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopedia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.

Don't Like My "Twilight" Obbsession?

Bite Me.

You expect it to be easy.

You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies.

You expect him to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it.

You expect him to calm you down when you're yelling or to chase you when you run away.

You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn't exactly match up with all your plans.

But that's the thing.

Love isn't a plan.

It doesn't have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it.

Love happens; it is so incredibly messy.

People around you can't comprehend why you do the things you do, or why youso hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can't see.

They can't see the invisible ring of pain that surrounds you when you're in love.

It's inconvenient and painful and devastating at times, but we can't live without it.

What you don't learn is how hard love is.

How much work it takes.

How much of ourselves we have to put into it.

How it isn't worth it until we are complete and utter about it.

Love isn't him calming you down when you yell.

It's him yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded.

It isn't him bringing you roses everyday or cute things that make your relationship appear more presentable.

It's after a long time that life walks right out of you both, and yet him showing up at your door the next morning anyway.

It's not him saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you.

So no, it's not him stroking your hair and telling you everything is going to be alright.

It's him standing there, admitting he's just as scared as you are.

You have to remember that with love, you're not the only one involved.

You've unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another persons hands and said, here.

Do what you will. Break it into a million pieces. Or forget that I ever handed it to you.

As long as you have it.

It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn't cross.

Because love isn't about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It's about scaring the $!T out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway.

Because all theand all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it.

And it's a hell of a lot better, than being 100% happy without someone to show us that :

There is a WORLD of difference between feeling 'happy' and feeling 'whole'.

got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.(We don't usually picture guys naked we picture what it would be like to kiss you then get over it and move on.)

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

Having the love of you're life say "we can still be friends" is like having you're dog die and your mother saying you can still keep it.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile

If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have read three 300+ books in a day, copy this into your profile (Well, Ok, I made this one up.)

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to man...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

this is person cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line :)

If you have ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird is normal. Admitting you are normal is odd. Different is odd and different is not good. If you are weird and proud of it, put this in your profile.

If you are a proud stalker of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, put this in your profile.

If your greatest wish is to be Bella Swan, put this in your profile.

If you think it would be hilarious to see Bella beat Emmett in an arm wrestling match, put this in your profile.

92% of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle or Hollister said it was uncool to breathe. if you are part of the 8% that would stand there and laugh, copy and paste this into your profile

If you support the 'Make Edward change Bella into a vampire' club, copy this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, EdwardAddict, Supergirrl, Elemental-ANimal, Mother Nature's Daughter, Hikuya, Briar Elwood, Megan Cooper, xxTunstall Chickxx, PoisionedRoses, Gabby510,twilightobsessedOECD, Alicecullenisrealinmyworld, Ms-Write-It

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever started laughing uncontrollably while reading in class and people just stared, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you believe that the government should make levees and not war, copy & paste this in your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

IF YOU'VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER FOR HOURS ON END, READING NUMEROUS FANFICTIONS, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a tree, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree, that purple bunnies who are high on CATNIP and eat TACOS WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If your friends are insane and you don't know why you're friends with them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends are insane and you DO know why you're friends with them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

1. When you are sad, I will give you the courage to plot revenge.

2. When you are blue, I will try and dislodge whatever is in your throat.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4 When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could get until you stop whining.

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me. I don't want whatever you've got.

8. When you fall, I will ask if you're okay, sit there and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This oath I pledge until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Other people can see it. But only you, can truly feel it's warmth.

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile. (And multiple other Twilight words. Volturi, Carlisle, Irina, etc.) (note: none of those Twilight words showed up as misspelled.)

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

I read Eclipse and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD

You know you're obsessed with Twilight when:

You start going up to random people to tell them you want an Edward!

You think your next-door neighbor looks like a vampire, or he really is a vampire.

You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them.

You've read Twilight, New Moonand Eclipse at least 5 times each!

You check on this site 5 times (or more) a day to see if there's any new Twilight news.

You think your best friend's crazy for not reading Twilight, New Moon, and/or Eclipse.

When you see a box labeled "Forks", you think there's something imported from Forks, Washington in there.

Twilight has ruined any and all future reading for you.

You use Twilight for every single school project that pops up.

You break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't glitter in the sun like Edward.

You have nothing to do, so you go to .com and read everything on the site twice. And then go to the Lexicon and do the same thing.

You promise your friend that if he can find you an Edward, you'll give him the answers to your homework for the rest of your school-life.

You plan on naming your children after characters in any of the books in the Twilight series.

You walk around school looking for pale-skinned, inhumanly beautiful classmates with red or gold eyes.

You see a shadow, think it's Edward, and start talking to it.

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it's something Bella would do and then cried because Edward wasn't there to catch you, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, the O.C., or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Harry/Hermione shippers are delusional (especially if they have read books 4-7, and still believe in that pairing), copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped where there is a 'watch your step' sign, copy this into your profile.

If you think TV golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you use sarcasm to battle stupid people, copy and paste this into your profile.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. IF YOU ONLY COPIED THIS BECAUSE YOU THINK IT IS THE STUPIDEST THING EVER, COPY THIS TOO!

If you are unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Twilight copy and paste this on to your profile

Don't be stereotypical, it's not freaking nice.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress

I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic

I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I was on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I'm WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I'm not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I wear GLASSES, so I MUST be a nerd.

I don't have many FRIENDS, so I MUST be unpopular

I am AGRESSIVE, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST love pink

I write Fanfics, so I MUST be a freak

25 Things My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful

parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .

"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn)

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'll die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

"When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade"

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Don't mess with me I've got a stick

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends (and Math)

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the

best in you.

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."

"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."

"Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?"

"What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy."

"Guns don't kill people. I do."

"A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'"

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you."

"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Ever had writers block when talking?

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

"This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence."

People can be divided into three groups. Those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen. Those who wonder what happened. Congratulations on being the captain of the third group.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Straight is something crooked that was bent.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation

If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :)

If you agree that rum is for drinking, not burning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile.

If you can listen to a song and match some of the lyrics up to your life copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck copy and paste this onto your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you can be quiet one second and hyper in another, but don't have mood swings, copy this in your profile.

If you suck at video games copy this into your profile.

If you think brunettes rock, copy this in your profile.

If you have a wide range of interests, put this on your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

9 Things I Hate (repost if you agree)

1 People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is, pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3 When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say, "It's always the last place you look." Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?

5 When people say while watching a film, "Did you see that?" No, loser, I paid 7 bucks to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya, sunshine?

7 When something is "new and improved." Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say, "Life is short." What the hell? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, honey, would I still be standing here? I don't think so.

On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.

(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:

Directions: Use like regular soap.

(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.

(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)

Do not turn upside down.

(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

Product will be hot after heating.

(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

Do not iron clothes on body.

(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.

(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:

Warning: may cause drowsiness.

(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:

Warning: keep out of children.

(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.

(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:

Not to be used for the other use.

(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:

Warning: contains nuts.

(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

A good or best friend!

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.

"You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more.

25. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES

" If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay."

I'm sorry

that I bought you roses

to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry

That I was raised with respect

not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry

That my body's not ripped enough

to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry

that I open your car door,

and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry

That I'm not cute enough

to be "your guy"

I'm sorry

That I am actually nice;

not a jerk

I'm sorry

I don't have a huge bank account

to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry

I like to spend quality nights at home

cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry

I would rather make love to you then just screw you

like some random guy.

I'm sorry

That I am always the one you need to talk to,

but never good enough to date

I'm sorry

That I always held your hair back when you20threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,

but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry

That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,

but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry

If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry

If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry

that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry

If you read this and know somebody like this

but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry

For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry

That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry

I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good

enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry

I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry

That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry

That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry

That I cared

I'm sorry

that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"

Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

You Know You're Obsessed With Twilight When...

1) You have read Twilight, New Moon,Eclipse and Breaking Dawn at least 3 times.

2) You own all above mentioned books.

3) You know that they're totally going to screw up Twilight the Movie, and

you want to see it anyway.

4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyers web site.

5) You have reread a lot of these pages.

6) You read fanfiction about Twilight.

7) You write fanfiction about Twilight.

8) At one point or another, you have had a screenname/username that says

something about Twilight or its characters.

9) You constantly count the days until Breaking Dawn comes out.

10) For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon, you acted as a

missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read

them.

11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it,

because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".

12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight

is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.

13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story(and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.

14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk

about.

15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2007 for

Eclipse to come out, you almost cried.(AN: this one kinda depends on when

you read the first two books, I guess!)

16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you

like best.

17) You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something

about Twilight, when you had already finished the books.

18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories,

you never get tired of it.

19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing

you read.

20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a

vampire.

21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.

22) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary.

23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people

who don't understand it just haven't read the book.

24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought

it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.

26). You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information

27). You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns

28). You're keeping track of all the "Eclipse Quotes of the Day" and trying to figure out what they all mean

29). Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website

30). Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series

31). Your screen saver reads "Breaking Dawn: August 2, 2008"

32). You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition

33). You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it

34). You can't believe that most people haven't read the books

35). You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them

36). You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines

37). You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die

38). You know you're addicted, but you don't care

39). You can't help saying, "I can't wait for August 2nd!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're psyco

40). You're more excited about the release of Eclipse than anything to do with Harry Potter

42). When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown

43.) You ACTUALLY noticed there was no 25.

They were looking through peoples

MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one

myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man

looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my

MySpace?

XxLoVemExX: What?

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway?

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;

youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro?

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make

any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high

shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what

ever she could. Her and her friend started to get

worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you

just said about me with your friend like a

minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him

hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes

watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really

matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me

from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its

not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says

love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really

scared. Girls

friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was

still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said

anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on

the ground dead. She started to scream but when she

turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two

minutes here will be three men, one in your

bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that

very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

Repost or you are going to die.

I'm the girl who isn't dancing, just jumping up and down screaming the lyrics.

I'm the girl that if you call my friend a brat I WILL say something.

I'm the girl that will slap you if you push me.

I'm the girl that speaks my mind, whether you like it or not.

I'm the girl that walks like I am proud even if I have toilet paper stuck on my shoes.

I'm the girl that you don't wanna be on her bad side.

I'm the girl that doesn't take crap from anyone.

BUT I'm also the girl that carries a book in her purse.

I'm the girl that wears sweat pants to the dance.

I'm the girl that no one knows her name, for good or bad and I like it that way.

I'm the girl who acts shy one second and the next I will be laughing like an idoit.

I'm the girl that people call "Bitch" and "Freak" "Mean" and "Weird" but I take that as a compliment.

I'm the girl that doesn't have normal hobbies. I read and I write.

I'm the girl that hasn't been asked out at all.

I'm the girl who isn't a people person but I am when it comes to friends.

I'm also the girl they call "best friend."

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.

2. The future is not set in stone.

3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.

4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.

5. True love knows no boundaries.

6. Some people are just danger magnets.

7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.

8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!

9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.

10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.

11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.

12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.

13. Family is about more than just blood.

14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.

15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.

16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.

17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.

18. There are exceptions to every rule.

19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.

20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.

21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.

22. Cold hands = Warm heart.

23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.

24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.

25. Romeo was an idiot.

26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.

27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.

28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.

29. Space heaters can be very annoying.

30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast

TWILIGHT FANS: would rather rely on Alice for future predictions

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!

TWILIGHT FANS: say OH MY EDWARD! (OME)

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings

TWILIGHT FANS: know that Jasper already can sense their feelings without saying a word

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!

TWILIGHT FANS: say shut up or i'll provoke the Volturi and blame you

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula

TWILIGHT FANS: know A LOT better and absolutely love the Cullen vampires

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!

TWILIGHT FANS: when being chased yell EDWARD SAVE ME!

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms

TWILIGHT FANS: know that the Cullens might be playing baseball somewhere and Emmett was just at bat ; )

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation

TWILIGHT FANS: would go directly to FORKS WASHINGTON

NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile

TWILIGHT FANS: MUST have this on there profile!

YOU REALLY KNOW YOU'VE REACHED THE POINT OF NO RETURN, AND ARE TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH TWILIGHT, WHEN YOU WATCH WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, JUST IN CASE SOMEONE CAN HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS.

Don't flatter yourself. I was looking at your friend.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, feck the fruit.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is question is Carlisle Cullen, get those apples the heck away from me.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Month one

Mommy

I am only 8 inches long

but I have all my organs.

I love the sound of your voice.

Every time I hear it

I wave my arms and legs.

The sound of your heart beat

is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy

today I learned how to suck my thumb.

If you could see me

you could definitely tell that I am a baby.

I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.

It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy

I'm a boy!

I hope that makes you happy.

I always want you to be happy.

I don't like it when you cry.

You sound so sad.

It makes me sad too

and I cry with you even though

you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy

my hair is starting to grow.

It is very short and fine

but I will have a lot of it.

I spend a lot of my time exercising.

I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes

and stretch my arms and legs.

I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.

Mommy, he lied to you.

He said that I'm not a baby.

I am a baby Mommy, your baby.

I think and feel.

Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.

I don't like him.

He seems cold and heartless.

Something is intruding my home.

The doctor called it a needle.

Mommy what is it? It burns!

Please make him stop!

I can't get away from it!

Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy

I am okay.

I am in Jesus's arms.

He is holding me.

He told me about abortion.

Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

Try This!

Tihs is wreid, but itenrsnitg! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Ptsae tihs to yuor poirfle if you can raed tihs!

FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. Because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed.

There are three kinds of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who don't know what the heck is happening.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off its orbit" for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet, then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

I'M A SMIDIOT (smart-idiot) AND PROUD OF IT! If you are a smidiot, paste this on your profile.

If you go crazy every time you get another comment, copy and paste this.

If you've ever fallen backwards in your chair, copy and paste this.

If you wish that people would just grow up and stop being racist, copy and paste this.

If you want to be the type of girl that makes the devil go "oh crap, she's up!" when your feet hit the floor in the morning, copy and paste this.

If you're obsessed with a character so much that you have dreams about meeting or fighting them, copy and paste this.

If you've ever laughed and couldn't stop yourself from laughing for the next few minutes, copy and paste this.

If you hate it when those pretty sissy girls get all the attention and the tough girls are ignored then copy and paste this into your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!

If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile.

If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list:Icewolf13, Papasbookworm, moonray9,Maru-chan, heavenlywolfdemon, AkUrO HaChIrObEi, RandomChara

If you have ever gotten a lock (like one on a locker) and put it on something, then forgot the combination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a wall, copy this on your profile!

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If your different in a good way put this in your profile.

A best friend is someone who yells in the hall I LOVE YOU!

not caring that people think your a lez.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT! If that's ever happened to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. (!)

If you're easily confussed or confuzzled add this to your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember what you were talking about in the first place, copy this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious preppy people as much as i do, PLEASE put this on your profile!

If every time you here a High School Musical 1 and/or 2/or 3, Hannah Montana, or any other Disney channel song you want to bleed from the ears, put this on your profile.

If you have weird friends put this on your profile.

If you hate school, copy this into your profile

If you ever wondered about the different types of cheese there are, copy this into your profile

90 of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed...If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile

If you or your best friend(s) is insane, copy this into your profile

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile

If you ever felt the need to stop copying and posting these things but just can't help but keep it up, copy and paste this to your profile

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you're on of the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate...

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile :D

If you have broke out in tears for no reason, and then laughed while still crying copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

! ... copy and paste this into your profile

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy and past this to your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Lamanth, AnimeGirl329, Sharpiequeen666, Contestshipper, uchihakiriko,beautifly-soul,DawnzNo1, Luna Rei Harmony, RandomChara

Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy this message and my symbol for equality to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

READ THIS: Funni~

Before Marriage - - -

Boy: "Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait."

Girl: "Do you want me to leave?"

Boy: "NO! Don't even think about it."

Girl: "Do you love me?"

Boy: "Of course! Over and over!"

Girl: "Have you ever cheated on me?"

Boy: "NO! Why are you even asking?"

Girl: "Will you kiss me?"

Boy: "Every chance I get!"

Girl: "Will you hit me?"

Boy: "Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!"

Girl: "Can I trust you?"

Boy: "Yes."

Girl: "Darling!"

After marriage - - - simply read from bottom to top

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted..

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. viet ;)

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I'm a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual. (depends on how you look at me)

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)

I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I'm WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I'm not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

.I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I'm STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo's

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I'm GAY so I'm after EVERY straight guy around.

I don't want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

I play VIDEO GAMES so I MUST be a LOSER.

I'm a TOMBOY so I MUST be a homosexual that's looking for attention.

If you hate stereotypes and think people should just SHUT UP AND STOP, POST THIS!

this is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.(We don't usually picture guys naked we picture what it would be like to kiss you then get over it and move on.)

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" Anna Marie said she would do this

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Help you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keep on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb butt?"

FRIENDS: Help you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnap him and bring him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

"Good friends will let you dance with your boyfriend,

BEST FRIENDS will yell 'No She's Mine'"

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"This is Jesse

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Have always had the best shoulder to cry on.

FRIEND: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIEND: Open the fridge and make themself at home.

FRIEND: Ask you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Ask you for their number.

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Have a closet full of your stuff.

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a biography on your life.

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will always go with you.

FRIENDS: Will ask why you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will say, "Don't hurt her," and leave it at that.

BEST FRIENDS: Will say, "She's my best friend, break her heart, I'll break your nose!"Anna Marie and steph

FRIENDS: Will wait for you if you're late.

BEST FRIENDS: Are the only reason why you're never on time.

I'm sorry, my fault, I forgot you were an idiot.

I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.

Where there's a will… I want to be in it.

All men are idiots And I married their king.

My Dog Can Lick Anyone.

Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

A day without sunshine is like night.

Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?

Do not disturb I'm disturbed enough already.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say "Are you gonna drink that?"

Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don't have film.

Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.

All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ?

Do not drink and drive, or you might spill the drink.

Some people are like Slinky's. Pretty much useless but make you smile when you push them down the stairs(THIS IS MY FAVORITE!)

Never argue with an idiot they'll drag you down to their level and beat you through experience

Curiosity killed the cat, and saved the rat.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! My Dad is a cop and has heard this one

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

Percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again

My mind is like lighting, one brilliant flash, then its gone…:(

Favorite stupid pickup lines(do not try)

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

What's that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle.

Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?

You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

When God made you, he was showing off.

Fat Penguin. WHAT? I just thought I'd say something to break the ice.

Favorite comebacks for pickup lines

Male: I would die for you...

Female: Prove it

Can I buy you a drink?

Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too

"I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included."

"Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk."

Pledge

1. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

2. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

3. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

4. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

5. When you are confused, I will use little words.

6. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

7. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you've ever fallen asleep at around 2 am reading Twilight , New Moon, and/or Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are the kind of person who walks into a door or wall, and then apologizes to it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this to your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are obsessed with fan fiction copy this to your profile

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this to your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this to your profile. (I do that a lot. More than I should.)

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this to your profile

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy and paste this to your profile

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile :D

If you have had a 'Blonde Moment' copy and paste this to your profile. (I have and I'm not even a blonde!)

If you think your best friend's crazy for not reading Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and/or Breaking Dawn copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever stood straight up, then fell down for no apperent reason, copy this to your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you've ever lost a bet to yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

if they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this to your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! XD

If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.-

If you are really random copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever fell down and told the floor that you are sorry copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love inside jokes, but hate when you ave no clue what some of them mean copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are nosy copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love life copy and paste this to your profile!

If you ever feel like stuffed animals are looking at you copy and paste this to your profile.

If you ever felt like you were drunk but hadn't touched any alchol that day copy and paste this into your profile.

If you were ever too tired to sleep copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever stayed up all night with your best friend then went home and snapped if someone looked at you funny copy and paste this into your profile

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK,When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS:

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fing way Paper can beat Rock.

Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that sht up in 2 seconds. When I play rock, paper, scissors I always choose rock...

If you hate when people favorite and story alert your story but don't review, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Ways to Annoy Your Parents

-I am not responsible for any shouting, yelling and punishments they give you. Please note: USE AT YOUR OWN RISK! Please do not sue me when your parents hand out your punishment for using this.

1 - Follow them all the time

2 - Say "Muu" when they call you

3 - Pretend you got amnesia

4 - Keep walking backwards

5 - Run all over the house with a bulb in your hand and saying "The Sun! It's dying!"

6 - Run on the walls

7 - Sing out loud while you run all over the house wearing only underwear

8 - Say that wearing clothes is against your religion

9 - Stay in fron of them at four in the morning and with a big smile in the face say "Good morning, sunshine!"

10 - Run in circles

11 - Recite a whole movie. Three times.

12 - Pretend you're fighting yourself. Lose.

13 - Pull somebody's hair and scream "DNA!"

14 - Wear a T-Shirt that reads "I'm Retarded!"

15 - Wear jeans on your heads, a t-shirt on your waist and say it's a new fashion concept

16 - Try to find another way to drink something in a glass

17 - Glue your finger on your nose with Super Glue

18 - Talk to a pen

19 - Have imaginary friends. Talk to them all the time.

20 - Pretend you're a viking

21 - Try to climb on the walls

22 - Scream really loud "WHERE-IS-MY-MOTHER!"

23 - Put an ice-cream cone on your forehead and say you're a beautiful unicorn

24 - Do what they tell you to

25 - Stay turning the lights on and off and after 5min say "ooh! I get it now..."

26 - Eat non-eatable things.

27 - Sit in front of the fan with your arms wide open and sing "I believe I can fly!"

28 - Hold their hands and say "I see dead people..."

29 - When taking a shower, scream "I'm drowning!"

30 - Chase an imaginary tail

31 - Demand your own telephone number

32 - Scream "Lie!" for everything they say

33 - Pretend you're 268 years old

34 - Stay upside down in your closet

35 - Pretend you're a telephone

36 - Try to swim on the ground

37 - Knock on their door all the night

38 - Pretend you have multiple personalities

39 - Deny everything they say before they finish saying and say "Why what? Are you trying to find a reason to punish me?". Take a long breath, blink three times and say "Can I help you?"

40 - Ask "What?" for everything they say and pretend youdon't understand

41 - Look at you father for some time and then say "I'M USING NEW SOCKS!"

42 - Always repeat "What would give you that idea?"

43 - When your mother start talking to you, say "Lo siento, No hablo Inglés"

44 - Tell them you have a very imporant secret that you can't tell to anyone, they'll insist on you to tell the secret, then you whisper "I'm Spiderman/Catwoman!"

45 - Stay looking at nowhere for some time and quickly look at your parents with a scared expression and say "Did you feel that?"

46 - Write "Will you really eat this little bird?"/"Eggs are friends, not food!" on every egg you got in the freezer

47 - When having dinner, stand up and say to one of your siblings: "Due to economic problems, you will be banished from this house."

48 - When visiting your grandparents, start singing "Uuhm, you touch my tchalala!"

49 - Always say "That's so hot" with Paris Hilton acent

50 - Tell them everything you did was just to annoy them

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.

I am the girl that people look through when I say something.

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.

I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.

I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace or Facebook, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.

I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.

I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

i'm the author of my own life

unfortunately i'm writing in pen and cant erase my mistakes

yesterday is history

tomorrow is a mystery

today is the present and that is why it's called a

gift

homework kills trees

so save the trees

dont do homework

friends are like bras

close to your heart

but all about support

let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.

2. The future is not set in stone.

3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.

4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.

5. True love knows no boundaries.

6. Some people are just danger magnets.

7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.

8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!

9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.

10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.

11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.

12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.

13. Family is about more than just blood.

14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.

15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.

16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.

17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.

18. There are exceptions to every rule.

19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.

20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.

21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.

22. Cold hands = Warm heart.

23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.

24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.

25. Romeo was an idiot.

26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.

27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.

28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.

29. Space heaters can be very annoying.

30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity,... I enjoy every minute of it

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

You call me a Bitch well a Bitch is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping the voices in my head out.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, off the occasional cliff and into sliding glass doors.

It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL

Forever isn't as long as it use to be.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

Person 1: Happiness is just around the corner!

Person 2: Too bad the world is round!

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at 2 things: Staying Strong,

and Being Ourselves.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tastey!

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

-BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.

-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

-BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool!

- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

-Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -

- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

- if you don't ask no one can say no

- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

- He who laughs last didn't get it.

- When there's a will, I want to be in it.

-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

- If trying fails cover up all evidence that you tried

i speak fluent sarcasm.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments, copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you have ever dreamed or wished that a book character was real copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile

If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate! , copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica,I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Deidara's Manialoll 4 Ever, DrownMySoul, xXShe-WolfXOXO, dereklover6556, i am crazy tye

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid ass. If you understand the true meaning of firendship, copy and paste this into your profile.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up, If you totaly understand this, copy and paste it into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profi

Live dangerous…Run with scissors.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

Growing old is mandatory...Growing up is optional

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

I'm a bomb technician, if you see me running, you better catch up!

I dream of a better tomorrow, where Chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

I'm going to go give him a piece of my mind, but not my brain I need that.

Must press the Red button!

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

What doesn't kill me... Had better start running.

Best friends, it's who we are . . . instead of saying "excuse me" we push each other out of the way and say "move". We hug each other and laugh at any random moment. We argue about the stupidest things then we find out we were both wrong.

Bad stuff happens, mostly to me, so don't worry.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

You can't fix stupid.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones

I know the traffic signals by heart; green means go, yellow means speed up, and red means check for cops.

Be yourself - it's the only thing people can't say you're doing wrong.

If you blow in a dogs face he'll get mad at you, but take him for a car ride, and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window!

I'm not saying you're stupid, I'm just implying it.

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.

Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics.

The more I think about, the more I'm sure I've lost my mind. But, crazy people don't know they're crazy, so I guess I'm ok. But thinking I'm ok because I think I'm crazy is saying I don't think I'm crazy, so I may be crazy.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?

I hear voices in my head, but that's okay. Most of them are pretty nice

I have to speak my mind because what is in my mind is always more interesting than what is happening in the world outside my mind.

Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

They say the truth will set you free, so why is it that whenever I tell the truth I get sent to my room?

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

How fast do you go on the highway? As fast as you want, as long as you don't get caught by the cops.

Don't mess with me: I've got a stick.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

When the very first man discovered cows have milk...what do you think he was DOING?

Im the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

There is no "I" in team but there is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Therapist = the / rapist... scary thought

A good girl is a bad girl who's never gotten caught.

Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my freaking soda"

None of that sissy crap. Are you tired of those 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of truths to our friendship.

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt


End file.
